Sure, there are plenty of well-known atrocities that accompany growing up: debt, wrinkles, ineligibility to order off the Kid’s Menu… But there are quite a few that I was simply not prepared for. Silly as they may seem, these #GrownUpProblems pretty much the worst.
I used to have keep track of 3 passwords—one for Gmail, one for my bank, and one for Facebook (priorities). And if we’re being honest, I obviously used the same password for all of them. Now, I have passwords for my passwords. Passwords for work, passwords for Comcast, passwords for my water bill… It’s excessive. And to top it off, all my accounts are making me change my password for the sake of “security.” I forgot my Instagram password recently (because who logs out of Instagram?!), and I basically had to sell my soul to get back in. When our selfies are more secure than our airports… We’ve got an issue. And don’t get me started on the “’Forgot my Password’ Security Questions.” They are not helpful:
“What is your favorite food?”
The only true answer to this is: “pretty much everything” and I didn’t put that, so I guess I’m just never going to log back into this account again?
Lunch has recently become more of a hassle than anything else, which is really upsetting because food is basically what gets me up in the morning. If I pack my lunch, it means I have to get up 10 minutes early (mm, nope). If I buy my lunch, it means I’m going to end up telling myself to buy a salad, but actually buying something tragically bad for you. And then I have to eat it. Where? At my desk? With a friend? What if I don’t have time? What if I don’t have friends? Stressful.
I have a long-standing hatred of grocery stores. I think it’s a combination of the fluorescent lights and the smell of the bakery aisle (I gain weight just by smelling donuts).
Anyway, the real issue is when you get home. No matter how well-intentioned I am, nearly half of everything I buy spoils. It’s a big waste on all accounts. Save yourself some time (and money): that Pinterest recipe? Never gonna happen.
Simply put- they get way worse.
Checking the mail used to be exciting: care packages, the occasional catalog, even junk mail seemed cute when you’re younger. Well now junk mail has gotten a lot less adorable, bills have gotten a lot more prevalent, and the only “care packages” are sympathy Valentine ’s Day cards from Mom.
Thank God for Twitter, or else I would be seriously unaware, but… I’m finding it more and more challenging to keep up with important, hard-hitting news as I get older. For example, I didn’t watch the TMZ video of Solange punching Jay Z until two days after it was released. TWO DAYS. What’s next? I start saying things like “The Facebook” and eating dinner at 5:30??
Basically my reaction to Solange v Jay